One of the biggest reasons why people, including myself, quit anything is emotional distress. We are going to stick with fitness here, but let me give you one example. I've been in the fitness industry for almost nine years and seen this happen over and over. An individual is working out hard for 6 weeks, then all of a sudden has a conflict with a coworker, boss, member, or friend. They start talking about how much so and so did them wrong. Next thing I know, they are eating worse and skipping workouts. Eventually, the sole topic of our conversations becomes their emotional distress...which is now amplified by the fact that they have slid backwards big time in their fitness journey. Dwelling on their negative emotions has caused them to fall completely off the band wagon. Because they were unable to fortify their minds against something somebody said, who is probably completely carefree at this moment, they are miserable. This is called being a victim. It's a state of mind in which you open yourself up to negativity. You see the world as "out to get you," and start making excuses because you pity yourself. At this point, you've allowed others to have control of your mental reins. You will perceive your whole life as being miserable until you CHOOSE to take charge!
People with this mentality keep waiting on "something good to happen." They expect a fat pot of gold at the end of their rainbow of self-inflicted pain that will end all their suffering. However, if you see it that way, life is always going to suck. You will never find happiness because bad things happen daily. Even when something "good" does come your way, you will most likely find something "bad" about it to obsess over. YOU have to ensure that YOU live a GREAT life!
You can't control your circumstances, but you can control how you perceive them! I'm going to use myself as an example of how to conquer negativity and bitterness.
Last year, after I felt like I had already been through more than my share of trials, I found my best friend about 20 minutes after he shot himself. Needless to say, I was traumatized. I let this event drag me down. Sometimes, I wouldn't wake up until 2 in the afternoon! It completely unraveled my life. I didn't realize I had let it consume me until I got into a relationship where I knew I should have been happy. However, I was still super depressed. I felt like God was out to get me, and regardless of what I did, nothing mattered because I was screwed. Eventually, that relationship ended, largely due to my bitterness and self-hate. That was when I decided I needed to face my feelings head on and quell my depression.
I did the opposite of what most people do. I found areas of my life where I wanted to improve the most and began working on them. Self improvement- whether it was financial, physical, or mental- was what made me tick. I was happy. Or at least I thought I was.
It wasn't until one of my good friends pointed out how bitter and angry I was at the past, and people in general, that I realized I still had work to do. The only way I could think to fight my negative attitude was to focus on positive aspects of my life. Starting that day, for every negative thought I had, I wrote down two positive things (usually people) that I was thankful for. I am not kidding when I say that, after the first two things, I immediately felt happy. The anger disappeared. Now I could see the good in my life. In a day, my list was two pages! How could I possibly be angry or bitter with so many people and things to be thankful for?
Now, I have a habit. Each morning, the first thing I do when I wake up each morning is write down two positive items I'm thankful for. This usually ends up being five or six things. It forces me to see the rest of my day in a positive light! When something remotely begins to upset me, I stop what I'm doing and analyze the situation. What are two things from this that can benefit me? Once I have written those down (usually way more than two), the negative emotions disappear and I can deal with that person or event calmly and rationally.
This practice of giving thanks has completely changed my outlook on life. I feel like a completely different person then I was a year, or even a week, ago. My challenge to you is to start seeing the good in your life. Don't let events or other negative people control how you think/feel!
Try doing what I did. Go buy a journal. It sinks in more when you take the time to write by hand. The second your eyes open, write down two things you're thankful for. Your dogs, your kids, the fact that you have food in your refrigerator; it can be anything. Then, if someone, or something, influences your emotions negatively, step back and see two good things about the situation! Write them down and reassess. You will react much differently!
I hope this helps you begin to conquer the victim mentality. Fortify your mind and, regardless of the situation, you will emerge the victor!
If you want to conquer your fitness journey, here are a few ways to make sure you stay on track!
Step 1: Write down your goals- 3 short term and 3 long term
Step 2: Do a cleanse (resets your gut health and helps with absorption of nutrients)
Step 3: Have a program that will keep you on track! It's important to start something that is strict and will keep you focused.
If you have any questions, please contact me!